Bolivia Mission Update #1 | Perfect Love

18 July 2015

One of the most memorable moments was the last night in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. Without notice and finishing up a long day of ministry, we headed to a park that is known for drug dealing, violence, and other activities. Hearing these things, my heart was hesitant to trust in God and doubt hovered over me. As the media team began to set up and as the skit teams prepared, I looked towards the empty elevated seating in front of us and prayed a simple yet genuine prayer, "Lord, would you fill these seats with unbelievers that would come to know and see that you are Lord." I believe God poured His grace over our team that night because I saw that everyone in the team had this Kingdom mindset that what we were doing at this moment could lead people to the truth, the way, and the life.

In curiosity, men, women, and children slowly began to sit down before us as we worshipped Jesus through skits that were both silly and intense yet preached the truth of Jesus Christ. After the first or second skit, the seats were packed and I mean PACKED with people of all ages! It excited me and there was this stirring in my heart that I hadn't felt in a very long time. It was almost unrecognizable. It was like an uncontrollable flame within me that wanted these people to know and receive Christ's love. In that moment God reminded me of the first time I had felt this feeling. It was when God saved me and at that time it was so simple. Because of Christ's love that had filled me, all I wanted to do was to go to all my friends and tell them about what had happened to me! Insecurity and fear never crossed my mind because it was so real to me. I didn't realize this at the time, but I was basically sharing my testimony to all my friends. It was a natural response to His love for me, to share what I had tasted and seen.

Pastor Josh went up to share part of his testimony but mostly preaching the good news and I saw that most of them were intrigued and curious to what this young man was saying. I saw a light of hope and God reminded me of a verse that I read the night before, Psalm 17:6 "I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer." His name is Hosanna, the One who saves and I knew He was hearing our prayers right at that moment. Then Pastor Josh called people up to receive Christ and there was an immediate response. The first to stand were these younger men in bright blue soccer shirts and my heart felt like exploding. Before we knew it the whole crowd came down to receive Christ. HAHA. WOW. It was the second most beautiful moment I had ever experienced. People were receiving Christ!!! Hallelujah!

God is teaching me to seek His love always before anything else. I don't need to wish for things that I feel I don't have but just Him, who is Love. The love of Christ drives me to do things that I am made for and to do things that I would not be able to do, not so that I would be known but that His name would be glorified through my life and when I have His love nothing can stop me. Not even fear or insecurity. I desire to share my testimony to those around me because His love and for no other reason. In Him there is eternal life and I really want people to know that. 

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" - 1 John 4:18
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

Karen Kim

Karen is a passionate, loyal, and loving daughter, friend, and sister who's a little crazy but nonetheless amazing. She is always willing to go the extra mile to advance His Kingdom because her true heart's desire is to simply give worship to who it is due to – Jesus Christ.

#CollegeLyfe

14 May 2015

It was my second year, winter quarter. Finals season. The year where I had more responsibilities and was going through some mid-life crisis. My mom calls me right when I needed someone to de-stress to.  I vent that school is hard and it was difficult to manage my time between being a student and serving at church.  After just listening to me vent, the first thing my mom says, “Did you pray? Or do you even pray to God daily?”  I just stayed silent.  I expected my mom to at least give me comfort and consolation because it was what I wanted.  Hearing that I had no answer, my mom goes “Pray. I love you. Study hard. Pray. Bye” and hangs up.  From that phone call, I realized that my mom made an important point: When was the last time I took some of my own busy time off only for God?

I currently attend UCSD as a third year and for the past year, I have been trying to incorporate my mom’s advice of praying to God daily.  This past winter quarter, God revealed to me that I often put school and grades as an idol in my life.  I am so thankful to God for this revelation because it shows how much I have grown as a Christian.  Since UCSD runs on the quarter system, there are always exams/quizzes to study for.  Because the classes are so fast-paced, sometimes it is easy to forget that God is there and the only focus is on succeeding as a student that gets good grades that will eventually pave the way for my future.  I was too into planning my own future because I already knew what I wanted to be – a pharmacist – and trying to achieve good grades to get into a decent pharmacy school after I graduate. I used to always fret on getting good grades and if I did terrible I would feel so disappointed in myself because I couldn’t achieve the gpa I wanted.  I put so much unnecessary burden and stress upon myself when I could have laid it down at God’s feet.  When I eventually laid it down at God’s feet, I felt so comforted and relieved.  Now, I just give a short prayer to God constantly.  I just pray, “God, please take care of me during my studies.  May I not be distracted by stupid technology.  When I study, help me to not feel overwhelmed from stress, but instead give me peace.”  I do not expect God to give me an answer every time, but I trust Him that He will take care of me.

It was easy to take control over my own life because everything was not up in the air.  However, trying to take control over my own life was hard and I felt so empty and lonely.  Now, I know that God has a plan for me.  It can be easy to forget that, but I am reminded everyday how much God reigns in my life.  I trust in His plan.  The mission that God has given me is to be student.  A student that loves Him where God becomes the center of my life.  There are many doors waiting to be opened and when I open one door, God will guide me through it to the end.  If the opportunity to open that door fails, it’s okay because God will take me on a different path.

College is a time where a lot of questions can be answered but also a time where more questions about what to do in life arises.  The stereotypical college life depicted in tv shows and movies seem fun, but there will always be an empty void in your heart.  Incorporating God in your life will make your heart full until it seems to bursts and enjoy life to the fullest.  That can only be achieved by (1) prayer and (2) trusting God all the time.  It’s hard, but God will shape you and cultivate you in ways you can never imagine.

Love Is Commitment

25 March 2015

I came to missions in Southeast Asia for a year because I believed in God's passionate love for His people – the lost, the weak, the oppressed, and the hungry. Before I left for missions, God revealed Himself to be mighty and powerful, who is passionate and unfettered in His love for me, from the day I was born and through His faithfulness in each season of my life. 

I realize more and more that while my God is zealous in His role as my lover, He is also a Father who disciplines out of love. I thought life would be different and I would change to this ideal holy type I imagined, quite different from the purposeless of my 40-hour, 8 to 5 office job or not as secluded as my college days in my bubble. I believed missions was the goal to achieve holiness and save the world, but now I realize each day that missions, ministry, family, job, eating and wherever it is and whatever it may be, is ultimately a means – the means to not become who I want to be, but to look upon Christ and be delighted in Him. My missions, relationships and life itself is a form of worship to bring Him glory. And that glory is supreme when I am delighted in Him. 

But it's hard to be delighted when in the field I still feel lonely and purposeless. It's hard to believe that some of the seeds planted will take fruit and keep faith, to trust and fully submit. Sometimes it's not what I had expected but it's what God is still doing when I die so He may live. It is difficult to cling to faith, whether here or when darkness seems readily encroaching on your daily life and insecurity is always ready to attack everything I do. But sometimes God disciplines the parts in us we NEED more than we WANT– more than showing me the blazing fiery crazy love I knew and wanted, He is showing me the power of commitment. That His love is not only power, but the power comes from full submission and humility. That commitment is the key – when all feelings, legitimacy and logic for staying disappears. Sometimes it seems it'll never end – the injustices of children being sold by their own parents, blatant poverty and corruption, and the seemingly never-ending spiritual darkness infiltrated into the personal and governmental but that is Christ's love for me. I've fallen short every day and yet it amazes me that He could still love me, that such a grace exists and is faithful. His grace reveals itself new each morning and I want to receive that love and who that constancy to the hopeless and broken. Because that is what I am. 

Love is commitment.